Focusing on What I want

"Passion is pushing myself when there is no one else around, just me & the road". -Ryan Shay

     What is fear? How does it keep us from where we want to be?  I think for a long time I really have neglected my health.  What's that saying about hindsight?  It's good for telling you where you went, It's good for testing what you know, but it cannot tell you where you ought to go in this moment.
     Alot of people have asked me, what is different this time?  Honest to god truth is, believing in myself and not letting my self get away with anything. 
     I think in alot of ways, my weight has been my protection against what i fear.  I have found out things about myself,  I have survived sexual abuse, so that makes me a survivor, I am a fighter, and I don't give in easily when it comes to people I love.  I am a caretaker, so i have a question I am trying to answer, why if I care so much for everybody else, why would i not put that same care unto myself? 
     I feel like I am waking up out of this deep sleep i've been in. 
     I'm learning that I deserve to respect myself and love myself. 
     This journey is hard, the mental part of it, will challenge you beyond belief.    You must put it all together. 
    
     So I watched this show called sick, obese and overweight, something along these lines.  Just a show on juicing, how this guy goes on a journey to get healthy by drinking raw juice, what touched me so was this guy he influenced along the way, this guy goes from 429 lbs down to 203 lbs.  he inspires a whole town along the way...now that's just amazing.
      It's stories like these that inspire me.  Then I feel in this very hard journey I realize I am not alone and I am not the only one fighting this beast. 
      I need to do my cardio today...
      It's amazing tho, seeing your body change, maybe it's not as fast as you would like but I am defining my own way here. 
      My progress pictures tell the story :-)
      So keep fighting!