So I been on this journey for 150 days. I would love to say what a beautiful relavation it's been but i would be lying if i told you it was all roses and daises. That's what makes it all the more valuable to me. Nobody is giving me this on a silver platter, I must dig deep for motivation every day. I look back to all those times I attempted weightloss and I know that I never pushed myself. Was it that i was scared of what i was capable of? Or was I scared I would fall short of the expectation of my goal? Would it hurt that i would disappoint myself yet again? What I didn't know all along was , I needed to believe in myself. What does that mean exactly? It means telling myself that I deserve to be happy and healthy. Not hurt anymore from this weight, This weight was killing me. I tried my hardest to act like it wasn't effecting me but everyday was a struggle.
I woke up one morning, told myself no matter what happens, I am not allowing myself to take the easy way out anymore. Once you get over the denial of why you gained weight you see for maybe the first time, how to fight your way back :)
SO I got this idea of how can i challenge myself. I signed up to do the logbook for
http://www.concept2.com/us/default.asp . I saw there this challenge of 100,000 meters the teams do. I thought for a long awhile i thought oooo, i can do this challenge, as my own personal challenge. SO the 4th will be my 30 days...right now on this 24th day of September I am at 70,000 meters. It's been a huge mountain, I feel like I'm up at the very last pass, ready to peak over, to see the viewpoint.
It's amazing how many muscles you use while rowing.
It used to be so hard for me, i was only able to do 10 minutes at a time, now i'm up to 30 minutes.
You better believe I will post my challenge win blog :D
"whether i fail or succeed shall be no mans doing but my own, i am the force"
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