"Passion is pushing myself when there is no one else around, just me & the road". -Ryan Shay
What is fear? How does it keep us from where we want to be? I think for a long time I really have neglected my health. What's that saying about hindsight? It's good for telling you where you went, It's good for testing what you know, but it cannot tell you where you ought to go in this moment.
Alot of people have asked me, what is different this time? Honest to god truth is, believing in myself and not letting my self get away with anything.
I think in alot of ways, my weight has been my protection against what i fear. I have found out things about myself, I have survived sexual abuse, so that makes me a survivor, I am a fighter, and I don't give in easily when it comes to people I love. I am a caretaker, so i have a question I am trying to answer, why if I care so much for everybody else, why would i not put that same care unto myself?
I feel like I am waking up out of this deep sleep i've been in.
I'm learning that I deserve to respect myself and love myself.
This journey is hard, the mental part of it, will challenge you beyond belief. You must put it all together.
So I watched this show called sick, obese and overweight, something along these lines. Just a show on juicing, how this guy goes on a journey to get healthy by drinking raw juice, what touched me so was this guy he influenced along the way, this guy goes from 429 lbs down to 203 lbs. he inspires a whole town along the way...now that's just amazing.
It's stories like these that inspire me. Then I feel in this very hard journey I realize I am not alone and I am not the only one fighting this beast.
I need to do my cardio today...
It's amazing tho, seeing your body change, maybe it's not as fast as you would like but I am defining my own way here.
My progress pictures tell the story :-)
So keep fighting!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Staying on Track
"You won't realize the distance you've walked until you take a look around & realize how far you've been."~
Day 108- I won't say I have not had slips in these 108 days. I am human, I am overweight, and it's habits I am changing day by day, sometimes it goes hour to hour.
It's about taking it at my speed, I am setting the pace for myself. At first I thought, oh i should be at a 40 lb. loss by now. It's all about the big numbers but then i was setting myself to fail or an old pattern i would always set. Make it or break it. It's about learning and relearning...
Here are some tips I have learned
It is like walking a mile...you are about halfway thru that mile, your tired, and your not sure if your gonna make it, are you gonna turn around and say what the hell, I can't make it, i might as well give up and go back home! No your gonna keep pushing thru it, and keep going!!!! Your not gonna stop til you get across that finish line.
I remember not long ago, eating vegtables and fruit was something i had to force myself to do, fries and a hamburger was my happy zone, and making time for cardio was a nightmare to me. Don't get me wrong i still have a hamburger but i'm smarter about it...my option is the smallest portion and usually i get a salad with it, and i taste my husbands fries... It reminds me of how much i overate...and i did. I have come quite a ways...I feel like I'm still walking up that steep hill, I have not reached my peak yet ;-)
Stay strong, keep fighting...it will all be worth it
Day 108- I won't say I have not had slips in these 108 days. I am human, I am overweight, and it's habits I am changing day by day, sometimes it goes hour to hour.
It's about taking it at my speed, I am setting the pace for myself. At first I thought, oh i should be at a 40 lb. loss by now. It's all about the big numbers but then i was setting myself to fail or an old pattern i would always set. Make it or break it. It's about learning and relearning...
Here are some tips I have learned
- Realizing my slip- Admitting it, to myself, the hardest part...
- Recommitting yourself to your plan-
- Drawing the line- Making it clear to yourself, ya i went off plan but this is no reason to keep overeating the entire day. Set up some things to distract yourself from over eating, brushing your teeth, keeping busy with a project, or blog.
- Giving yourself credit for stopping - Don't be hard on yourself, oh man this is one i'm bad at too, give yourself a pat on the back for admitting it...
- Watch out for feeling like you failed or feeling helpless: Here is where the sabotage thinking has hurt you, to change it...you have to realize mistakes are a part of this process.
- continue to eat as planned: Don't go starving yourself for the rest of the day.
- Learn from your mistake : Identify it, unplanned eating, maybe went to a potluck, maybe it was a trigger you had.
It is like walking a mile...you are about halfway thru that mile, your tired, and your not sure if your gonna make it, are you gonna turn around and say what the hell, I can't make it, i might as well give up and go back home! No your gonna keep pushing thru it, and keep going!!!! Your not gonna stop til you get across that finish line.
I remember not long ago, eating vegtables and fruit was something i had to force myself to do, fries and a hamburger was my happy zone, and making time for cardio was a nightmare to me. Don't get me wrong i still have a hamburger but i'm smarter about it...my option is the smallest portion and usually i get a salad with it, and i taste my husbands fries... It reminds me of how much i overate...and i did. I have come quite a ways...I feel like I'm still walking up that steep hill, I have not reached my peak yet ;-)
Stay strong, keep fighting...it will all be worth it
Thursday, August 4, 2011
On a high
"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable." -Mary Oliver
The last few weeks 4 to be exact, I have been staying at about the same weight. I started just this week doing a food journal and along with that charting my mood along with it, my therapist recommended i do this.
One of the ladies in my group at tops recommended doing the celestial teas which are fruit flavored, to get the water intake in. So I been doing that this week , man what a difference.
This mood journaling, really keeps you aware of your hunger factor and asks you are you really hungary or are you eating for comfort? My therepist also recommended I try getting in 5 servings of fruit and vegtables every day...goodness, it's alot harder then it sounds.
Today i had a brisk walk, 35 minutes today. Man the sun was blaring right down on me, so i found myself trying to hurry and get to the next shade of tree's ...So I'm gonna do some weight training today tooo. I was kind of worried about a week ago, i pushed myself too hard, was doing this circuit training, doing alot of step ups and i really over did it. It just a reminder to me this is not a sprint, it is a long long marathon and I must pace myself to stay in this race.
I am in such a different place, then a few years ago, I remember i would just sabotage myself but this tops program , my therapist are really really helping me stay true.
My therapist told me, it is typical to lose 20, and plateau but she said don't give up, keep excercising...
This is new territory for me, I have never been below 319, on a diet ever...
It is believing I can do it, stick with it, and telling myself now, healthy is good, not eating healthy isn't really acceptable anymore.
So no matter how hard your day may be, just don't ever let go....
317 Today!!!
The last few weeks 4 to be exact, I have been staying at about the same weight. I started just this week doing a food journal and along with that charting my mood along with it, my therapist recommended i do this.
One of the ladies in my group at tops recommended doing the celestial teas which are fruit flavored, to get the water intake in. So I been doing that this week , man what a difference.
This mood journaling, really keeps you aware of your hunger factor and asks you are you really hungary or are you eating for comfort? My therepist also recommended I try getting in 5 servings of fruit and vegtables every day...goodness, it's alot harder then it sounds.
Today i had a brisk walk, 35 minutes today. Man the sun was blaring right down on me, so i found myself trying to hurry and get to the next shade of tree's ...So I'm gonna do some weight training today tooo. I was kind of worried about a week ago, i pushed myself too hard, was doing this circuit training, doing alot of step ups and i really over did it. It just a reminder to me this is not a sprint, it is a long long marathon and I must pace myself to stay in this race.
I am in such a different place, then a few years ago, I remember i would just sabotage myself but this tops program , my therapist are really really helping me stay true.
My therapist told me, it is typical to lose 20, and plateau but she said don't give up, keep excercising...
This is new territory for me, I have never been below 319, on a diet ever...
It is believing I can do it, stick with it, and telling myself now, healthy is good, not eating healthy isn't really acceptable anymore.
So no matter how hard your day may be, just don't ever let go....
317 Today!!!
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