Big Waves of Change

Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott


  It's been quite awhile since I last blogged.  I have been going thru Huge Changes in my personal life.  It's weird how they say everything is connected, my weight, my past hurts, my present feelings, and my future.  You wish You had the key to it all but really it's understanding the hard stuff you have always tried to push down with food or avoid life with.   I have alot of stuff to sort thru but I feel like finding me will be the key to this huge puzzle of life. 
  I have avoided living far too long.  You wake up one day, you have isolated everyone you ever loved, push away the most important person in your life.   You look in the mirror and you think who on earth is that staring back at me?   She is somone who has gone thru hurts and she deserves a chance at life, a real chance!!!!! 
  I have started counseling, let me say it is the hardest thing i have ever done.   To answer and look at your life piece by piece is very very challenging.   I think tho, as the weeks go by, each session i go to.  I feel like She is helping me realize that my voice within myself is very much there and i need to listen to her.  
  I have been doing tops since April 26th.  As of today I am 20 lbs. down give or take.  I am in the process of really figuring out why I am pleatueing...Honesty...well too many carbs...and i need more water!!!!!  I need to move way more.  I had a bad day today...but I'm not gonna let it blow my whole new healthy way of life though, the old me would be oh what the hell, I might as well give up right now...but nope,  Simple, I have to be accountable to myself.  
  I am an emotional eater...and I am an intelligent person. 

  So I am off to do my cardio...kind of late but no excuses. 

  Changing one habit at a time...

~ Always always Believe